Discovering your authentic style through memories may seem daunting, but with a bit of self reflection and memory exploration you can begin to find what that looks like for you and the spaces you occupy.
One of my favorite core memories is coming in the the back door of my grandmother’s home. The unforgettable red formica countertops, faded from the thousands of meals prepared on them, the brown and cream terrazzo floors, with a familiar giant crack in them, and seeing her standing at the stove stirring a pot of something delicious that smelled of an Italian restaurant.
This post you will be given the tools to discovering your authentic style and begin to create authentic spaces that serve both you and those around you. Get cozy in your favorite space and let’s chat about taking the journey to discovering your true style.
The Journey Begins
We often hear the word ‘journey,’ and sometimes it feels overused, but when it comes to style, that’s exactly what it is—an evolving path that reflects who we are. Discovering your personal style isn’t about following the latest trends; it’s about looking inward, reflecting on the spaces that have shaped you, and translating that into the rooms you create today.
In a world full of fast trends, and ever-changing decor fads, it’s easy to feel lost when trying to define your own style. That’s why taking the time to reflect on who you are and where you’ve been is so powerful. Instead of jumping from trend to trend, you can create spaces that are timeless, meaningful, and most importantly, truly yours. The journey of discovering your authentic style will take time, but not to worry, you’re not alone.
Fashion is temporary, but style is eternal- Yves St. Laurent
The Deep Dive
OK! Here we go! Close your eyes and think about the coziest room you’ve ever been in. Maybe it’s your grandmother’s living room, with that avocado-green velour sofa, or her tiny kitchen where the smell of fresh-baked bread seemed to linger forever. What is it about that space that sticks with you? The colors? The warmth? The way it made you feel at home?
When you begin this journey of discovering your authentic style be gentle with yourself and your memories. Giving yourself permission to revisit these spaces can be difficult, so take your time. This does not have to a be a hurried process and there is no need to rush.
At this point in I encourage you to physically write down what you do or do not like about these memories. Is it the gentle glow of a table lamp? Perhaps the crisp scent of line dried linens? Maybe the texture of the brick wall that hid you so well in all of those hide-and-seek games? These seemingly unimportant details have been imprinted on you and shaped your sense of comfort and belonging. Writing them down can help you identify patterns that resonate with you. These patterns can be positive or negative.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (pink tile…yuck)
Spaces hold stories—both good and bad—that shape how we feel when we’re in them. Drawing on memories helps you create spaces that you want to be in. Spaces that others want to be in and create lasting memories in. With memories in hand let’s hold them up to the present. Is your home one that has been built on a desire to emulate these fond memories? Or loosely pulled together because there has been no clear path? There is no wrong answer. However, by comparing and contrasting positive memories with your current space you can begin to see strong commonalities or contrasting negativities.
Allowing yourself to feel and experience both past and present can show you how you have held onto or let go of certain things both good and bad. Just as much as the cherished memories shape our style, so do the less pleasant ones. For example, I have a great affinity for mixing bowls, a love that links back to fond times spent in my Nona’s kitchen. But on the flip side, I hate a certain shade of pink because of her dark and scary pink-tiled shower.
Reflecting and Responding
Some memories will feel like a warm winter blanket on a cold winter day, while others will remind you of that itchy wool sweater you just can’t seem to get rid of. Things like colors will begin to emerge or be rejected based on how you remember them and how they made you feel. This journey is ongoing and can be applied to any space that you value and use frequently.
As you reflect on those memories, start to collect tangible inspirations that represent your authentic style. Whether it’s creating a mood board on Pinterest, browsing and antique mall or simply taking a walk in nature to observe the colors and textures, these actions help crystallize your vision. You’ll start to notice patterns—whether it’s a love for rustic wood, a palette of soft greens, or a preference for airy, open spaces. These emerging patterns will become like familiar friends and you will find trendy fashions don’t quite fit into your new found authentic style.
Genuine Style or a Tempting Trend?
In today’s world we are inundated with images and “tailor made” ads to show us what we should like. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trends, especially when all media outlets are constantly showing you the latest ‘must-have’ items. But when you center yourself in your authentic style, you’ll find that these trends are just passing through. The trick is to take a step back and ask yourself: Does this piece feel timeless to me? Or is it a fleeting infatuation?
We have all given into the trending temptation, me included. In a moment of indecision, I like to evaluate what I truly love. I do this by recalling items that have made the cut every single move I have ever made. If it is still with me, surely I must love it.
If the item in question does’t measure up to an item or two that has stood the test of time, I leave it for someone else. Saying no to yourself can be difficult, but ultimately you will learn to appreciate what you do invest in, because you are spending money on something that will last and bring a sense of well being.
Discovering Authentic Space = Well Being
Many uncontrollable factors influence your well being, but your home environment is one factor you can control. Your spaces aren’t just rooms where you pass the time—they’re environments that influence your emotions, creativity, and well-being. When a space feels authentic to who you are, it becomes a place of rest, inspiration, and joy. But when we’re surrounded by elements that don’t resonate, it can feel draining and uninspiring.
There are entire branches of science dedicated to how your mind and body respond positively to a pleasing aesthetic, versus how you respond to a space that feels chaotic. Don’t ignore the pleasure that comes with being in an authentically curated space, because your actual health can improve in this way.
Discovering Authentic Style – The Road Ahead
Don’t forget this is a journey and will take time and thought, so be patient and gracious with yourself. You’re well worth the time it will take to find the authentic stye you crave. When you are empowered by your own unique and authentic style you begin to bridge the gap between your past, present and future, uncovering a legacy and culture that can only be shaped by you.
If you’re ready to dive even deeper and uncover more about how your spaces reflect your true style, I’ve put together a free guide to help you on your journey. You’ll find more in depth questions, style tips, ways to let your style evolve with you. My free guide will allow you to become more connected to yourself and the spaces you occupy.
When you download this free resource you will find questions to contemplate and gentle guidance to help you in discovering your authentic style and putting it all into practice.
Let me know in the comments below if you have begun your style journey through our free download or if you have any questions that I can help with.
You don’t have to be a designer to make good design decisions, you just have your know who you are – Lani
